| Security is mostly a superstition. It does | | | | success in this case simply means taking |
| not exist in nature, | | | | action, regardless of the outcome), then move |
| | | | on to number two, and so on, until you're |
| nor do the children of men as a whole | | | | ready to tackle number ten or you just don't |
| experience it. | | | | feel the fear is limiting you anymore. You |
| | | | may need to adjust the items on your list to |
| Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run | | | | make them practical for you to actually |
| than outright exposure. | | | | experience. And if you ever feel the next |
| | | | step is too big, then break it down into |
| Life is either a daring adventure, or | | | | additional gradients. If you can lift 290 |
| nothing. | | | | pounds but not 300, then try 295 or even 291. |
| | | | Take this process as gradually as you need |
| To keep our faces toward change and behave | | | | to, such that the next step is a mild |
| like free spirits | | | | challenge for you but one you feel fairly |
| | | | confident you can complete. And feel free to |
| in the presence of fate is strength | | | | repeat a past step multiple times if you find |
| undefeatable. | | | | it helpful to prepare you for the next step. |
| | | | Pace yourself.By following this progressive |
| - Helen KellerIn our day-to-day lives, the | | | | training process, you'll accomplish two |
| virtue of courage doesn't receive much | | | | things. You'll cease reinforcing the fear |
| attention. Courage is a quality reserved for | | | | avoidance response that you exhibited in the |
| soldiers, firefighters, and activists. | | | | past. And you'll condition yourself to act |
| Security is what matters most today. Perhaps | | | | more courageously in future situations. So |
| you were taught to avoid being too bold or | | | | your feelings of fear will diminish at the |
| too brave. It's too dangerous. Don't take | | | | same time that your expression of courage |
| unnecessary risks. Don't draw attention to | | | | grows. Neurologically you'll be weakening the |
| yourself in public. Follow family traditions. | | | | limbic control over your actions while |
| Don't talk to strangers. Keep an eye out for | | | | strengthening the neocortical control, |
| suspicious people. Stay safe.But a side | | | | gradually moving from unconscious mouse-like |
| effect of overemphasizing the importance of | | | | to conscious human-like behavior.The second |
| personal security in your life is that it can | | | | approach to building courage is to acquire |
| cause you to live reactively. Instead of | | | | additional knowledge and skill within the |
| setting your own goals, making plans to | | | | domain of your fear. Confronting fears |
| achieve them, and going after them with | | | | head-on can be helpful, but if your fear is |
| gusto, you play it safe. Keep working at the | | | | largely due to ignorance and lack of skill, |
| stable job, even though it doesn't fulfill | | | | then you can usually reduce or eliminate the |
| you. Remain in the unsatisfying relationship, | | | | fear with information and training. For |
| even though you feel dead inside compared to | | | | example, if you're afraid to quit your job |
| the passion you once had. Who are you to | | | | and start your own business, even though |
| think that you can buck the system? Accept | | | | you'd absolutely love to be in business for |
| your lot in life, and make the best of it. Go | | | | yourself, then start reading books and taking |
| with the flow, and don't rock the boat. Your | | | | classes on how to start your own business. |
| only hope is that the currents of life will | | | | Spend an afternoon at your local library |
| pull you in a favorable direction.No doubt | | | | researching the subject, or do the research |
| there exist real dangers in life you must | | | | online. Join the local Chamber of Commerce |
| avoid. But there's a huge gulf between | | | | and any relevant trade organizations in your |
| recklessness and courage. I'm not referring | | | | field. Attend conferences. Build connections. |
| to the heroic courage required to risk your | | | | Enlist the help of a mentor. Build your skill |
| life to save someone from a burning building. | | | | to the point where you start to feel |
| By courage I mean the ability to face down | | | | confident that you could actually succeed, |
| those imaginary fears and reclaim the far | | | | and this knowledge will help you act more |
| more powerful life that you've denied | | | | boldly and courageously when you're ready. |
| yourself. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. | | | | This method is especially effective when a |
| Fear of going broke. Fear of being alone. | | | | large part of your fear is due to the |
| Fear of humiliation. Fear of public speaking. | | | | unknown. Often just reading a book or two on |
| Fear of being ostracized by family and | | | | the subject will be enough to dispel the fear |
| friends. Fear of physical discomfort. Fear of | | | | where you're able to take action.These two |
| regret. Fear of success.How many of these | | | | methods are my personal favorites, but there |
| fears are holding you back? How would you | | | | are many additional ways to condition |
| live if you had no fear at all? You'd still | | | | yourself to overcome fear, including |
| have your intelligence and common sense to | | | | neuro-linguistic programming, implosion |
| safely navigate around any real dangers, but | | | | therapy, systematic desensitization, and |
| without feeling the emotion of fear, would | | | | self-confrontation. You can research them via |
| you be more willing to take risks, especially | | | | an online search engine if you wish to learn |
| when the worst case wouldn't actually hurt | | | | such methods and increase the number of |
| you at all? Would you speak up more often, | | | | fear-busting tools in your arsenal. Most of |
| talk to more strangers, ask for more sales, | | | | these can be easily self-administered |
| dive headlong into those ambitious projects | | | | (implosion therapy is the notable |
| you've been dreaming about? What if you even | | | | exception).The exact process you use to build |
| learned to enjoy the things you currently | | | | courage isn't important. What's important is |
| fear? What kind of difference would that make | | | | that you consciously do it. Just as your |
| in your life?Have you previously convinced | | | | muscles will atrophy if you don't regularly |
| yourself that you aren't really afraid of | | | | stress them, your courage will atrophy if you |
| anything... that there are always good and | | | | don't consistently challenge yourself to face |
| logical reasons why you don't do certain | | | | down your fears. In the absence of this kind |
| things? It would be rude to introduce | | | | of conscious conditioning, you'll |
| yourself to a stranger. You shouldn't attempt | | | | automatically become weak in both body and |
| public speaking because you don't have | | | | mind. If you aren't regularly exercising your |
| anything to say. Asking for a raise would be | | | | courage, then you are strengthening your fear |
| improper because you're supposed to wait | | | | by default; there is no middle ground. Just |
| until the next formal review. They're just | | | | as your muscles automatically atrophy from |
| rationalizations though - think about how | | | | lack of use, so your courage will |
| your life would change if you could | | | | automatically decay in the absence of |
| confidently and courageously do these things | | | | conscious conditioning.Now this may sound |
| with no fear at all.What Is Courage?Courage | | | | overly gloomy, so here's a positive way to |
| is not the absence of fear, but rather the | | | | look at it. Heavy weights can be a physical |
| judgment that something else is more | | | | burden, but they are helpful tools to build |
| important than fear. | | | | strong muscles. You would not look at a |
| | | | 45-pound dumbbell and say, "Why must you be |
| - Ambrose RedmoonCourage is resistance to | | | | so heavy?" It is what it is. Heaviness is |
| fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. | | | | your thought, not an intrinsic property of |
| | | | the dumbbell itself. Similarly, do not look |
| - Mark TwainCourage is being scared to | | | | at the things you fear and say, "Why must you |
| death, but saddling up anyway. | | | | be so scary?" Fear is your reaction, not a |
| | | | property of the object of your anxiety.Fear |
| - John WayneI like the definitions of | | | | is not your enemy. It is a compass pointing |
| courage above, which all suggest that courage | | | | you to the areas where you need to grow. So |
| is the ability to get yourself to take action | | | | when you encounter a new fear within |
| in spite of fear. The word courage derives | | | | yourself, celebrate it as an opportunity for |
| from the Latin cor, which means "heart." But | | | | growth, just as you would celebrate reaching |
| true courage is more a matter of intellect | | | | a new personal best with strength |
| than of feeling. It requires using the | | | | training.Catch a Glimpse of Your Own |
| uniquely human part of your brain (the | | | | GreatnessEveryone has talent. What is rare is |
| neocortex) to wrest control away from the | | | | the courage to follow the talent to the dark |
| emotional limbic brain you share in common | | | | place where it leads. |
| with other mammals. Your limbic brain signals | | | | |
| danger, but your neocortex reasons that the | | | | - Erica JongThe highest courage is to dare |
| danger isn't real, so you simply feel the | | | | to appear to be what one is. |
| fear and take action anyway. The more you | | | | |
| learn to act in spite of fear, the more human | | | | - John Lancaster SpaldingWhatever you do, |
| you become. The more you follow the fear, the | | | | you need courage. Whatever course you decide |
| more you live like a lower mammal. So the | | | | upon, there is always someone to tell you |
| question, "Are you a man or a mouse?" is | | | | that you are wrong. There are always |
| consistent with human neurology.Courageous | | | | difficulties arising that tempt you to |
| people are still afraid, but they don't let | | | | believe your critics are right. To map out a |
| the fear paralyze them. People who lack | | | | course of action and follow it to an end |
| courage will give into fear more often than | | | | requires some of the same courage that a |
| not, which actually has the long-term effect | | | | soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but |
| of strengthening the fear. When you avoid | | | | it takes brave men and women to win them. |
| facing a fear and then feel relieved that you | | | | |
| escaped it, this acts as a psychological | | | | - Ralph Waldo EmersonSo what do you do with |
| reward that reinforces the mouse-like | | | | your newly developed courage? Where will it |
| avoidance behavior, making you even more | | | | lead you? The answer is that it will permit |
| likely to avoid facing the fear in the | | | | you to lead a far more fulfilling and |
| future. So the more you avoid asking someone | | | | meaningful life. You will truly begin living |
| out on a date, the more paralyzed you'll feel | | | | as a daring human being instead of a timid |
| about taking such actions in the future. You | | | | mouse. You will uncover and develop your |
| are literally conditioning yourself to become | | | | greatest talents. You will begin living far |
| more timid and mouse-like.Such avoidance | | | | more consciously and deliberately than you |
| behavior causes stagnation in the long run. | | | | ever have before. Instead of reacting to |
| As you get older, you reinforce your fear | | | | events, you will proactively manufacture your |
| reactions to the point where it's hard to | | | | own events.Courage is something you can only |
| even imagine yourself standing up to your | | | | truly experience alone. It is a private |
| fears. You begin taking your fears for | | | | victory, not a public one. Summoning the |
| granted; they become real to you. You cocoon | | | | courage to listen to your innermost desires |
| yourself into a life that insulates you from | | | | is not a group activity and does not result |
| all these fears: a stable but unhappy | | | | from building a consensus with others. Kahlil |
| marriage, a job that doesn't require you to | | | | Gibran writes in The Prophet, "The vision of |
| take risks, an income that keeps you | | | | one man lends not its wings to another man." |
| comfortable. Then you rationalize your | | | | The purpose of your existence is yours alone |
| behavior: You have a family to support and | | | | to discover. No one on earth has lived |
| can't take risks, you're too old to shift | | | | through the exact same experiences you have, |
| careers, you can't lose weight because you | | | | and no one thinks the exact same thoughts you |
| have "fat" genes. Five years... ten years... | | | | do.On the one hand, this is a lonely |
| twenty years pass, and you realize that your | | | | realization. Whether you live alone or enjoy |
| life hasn't changed all that much. You've | | | | the deepest intimacy with a loving partner, |
| settled down. All that's really left now is | | | | deep down you must still face the reality |
| to live out the remainder of your years as | | | | that your life is yours alone to live. You |
| contently as possible and then settle | | | | can choose to temporarily yield control of |
| yourself into the ground, where you'll | | | | your life to others, whether it be to a |
| finally achieve total safety and security.But | | | | company, a spouse, or simply to the pressures |
| there's something else going on behind the | | | | of daily living, but you can never give away |
| scenes, isn't there? That tiny voice in the | | | | your personal responsibility for the results. |
| back of your mind recalls that this isn't the | | | | Whether you assume direct and conscious |
| kind of life you wanted to live. It wants | | | | control over your life or merely react to |
| more, much more. It wants you to become far | | | | events as they happen to you, you and you |
| wealthier, to have an outstanding | | | | alone must bear the consequences.If you |
| relationship, to get your body in peak | | | | commit to following the path of courage, you |
| physical condition, to learn new skills, to | | | | will ultimately be forced to confront what is |
| travel the world, to have lots of wonderful | | | | perhaps the greatest fear of all - that you |
| friends, to help people in need, to make a | | | | are far more powerful and capable than you |
| meaningful difference. That voice tells you | | | | initially realized, that your ultimate |
| that settling into a job where you sell | | | | potential is far greater than anything you've |
| widgets the rest of your life just won't cut | | | | experienced in your past, and that with this |
| it. That voice frowns at you when you catch a | | | | power comes tremendous responsibility. You |
| glance of your oversized belly in the mirror | | | | may not be able to solve all the woes of this |
| or get winded going up a flight of stairs. It | | | | planet, but if you ever do commit yourself |
| beams disappointment when it sees what's | | | | 100% to the fulfillment of your true |
| become of your family. It tells you that the | | | | potential, you can significantly impact the |
| reason you have trouble motivating yourself | | | | lives of many people, and that impact will |
| is that you aren't doing what you really | | | | ripple through the future for generations to |
| ought to be doing with your life... because | | | | come.What is the difference between you and |
| you're afraid. And if you refuse to listen, | | | | one of those legendary historical figures who |
| it will always be there, nagging you about | | | | did have such an impact? You both had many of |
| your mediocre results until you die, full of | | | | the same fears. You both were born with |
| regrets for what might have been.So how do | | | | talents in some areas and weaknesses in |
| you respond to this ornery voice that won't | | | | others. The only thing stopping you is fear, |
| shut up? What do you do when confronted by | | | | and the only thing that will get you past it |
| that gut feeling that something just isn't | | | | is courage. What you do with your life isn't |
| right in your life? What's your favorite way | | | | up to your parents, your boss, or your |
| to silence it? Maybe drown it out by watching | | | | spouse. It's up to you and you alone.Catching |
| TV, listening to the radio, working long | | | | a glimpse of your own greatness can be one of |
| hours at an unfulfilling job, or consuming | | | | the most unsettling experiences imaginable. |
| alcohol and caffeine and sugar.But whenever | | | | And even more disturbing is the awareness of |
| you do this, you lower your level of | | | | the tremendous challenges that await you if |
| consciousness. You sink closer towards an | | | | you accept it. Living consciously is not an |
| instinctive animal and move away from | | | | easy path, but it is a uniquely human |
| becoming a fully conscious human being. You | | | | experience, and it requires making the |
| react to life instead of proactively going | | | | committed decision to permanently let go of |
| after your goals. You fall into a state of | | | | that mouse within you. Going after your |
| learned helplessness, where you begin to | | | | greatest and most ambitious dreams and |
| believe that your goals are no longer | | | | experiencing failure and disappointment, |
| possible or practical for you. You become | | | | running butt up against your most humbling |
| more and more like a mouse, even trying to | | | | human limitations instead of living with a |
| convince yourself that life as a mouse might | | | | comfortable padding of potential - these |
| not be so bad after all, since everyone | | | | fears are common to us all.The first few |
| around you seems to be OK with it. You | | | | times you encounter such fears, you may |
| surround yourself with your fellow mice, and | | | | quickly retreat back to the illusory security |
| on the rare occasions that you encounter a | | | | of life as a mouse. But if you keep |
| fully conscious human being, it scares the | | | | exercising your courage, you will eventually |
| hell out of you to remember how much of your | | | | mature to the point where you can openly |
| own courage has been lost.Raise Your | | | | accept the challenges and responsibilities of |
| ConsciousnessLife shrinks or expands in | | | | life as a fully conscious human being. |
| proportion to one's courage. | | | | Continuing to live as a mouse will simply |
| | | | hold no more interest for you. You will |
| - Anais NinCourage is the price that Life | | | | acknowledge within the deepest recesses of |
| exacts for granting peace. | | | | your being, I have awakened to this |
| | | | incredible potential within me, and I accept |
| - Amelia EarhartYou gain strength, courage | | | | what that will require of me. Whatever it |
| and confidence by every experience in which | | | | costs me, whatever I must sacrifice to follow |
| you really stop to look fear in the face. You | | | | this path, bring it on. I'm ready. Even |
| are able to say to yourself, "I have lived | | | | though you will still experience fear, you |
| through this horror. I can take the next | | | | will recognize it for the illusion it is, and |
| thing that comes along." You must do the | | | | you will know how to use your human courage |
| thing you think you cannot do. | | | | to face it down, such that fear will no |
| | | | longer have the power to stop you.Embrace the |
| - Eleanor RooseveltThe way out of this | | | | Daring AdventureBefore you embark on any path |
| vicious cycle is to summon your courage and | | | | ask the question, does this path have a |
| confront that inner voice. Find a place where | | | | heart? If the answer is no, you will know it |
| you can be alone with pen and paper (or | | | | and then you must choose another path. The |
| computer and keyboard). Listen to that voice, | | | | trouble is that nobody asks the question. And |
| and face up to what it's telling you, no | | | | when a man finally realizes that he has taken |
| matter how difficult it is to hear. (The | | | | a path without a heart the path is ready to |
| voice is just an abstraction - you may not | | | | kill him. |
| hear words at all; instead you may see what | | | | |
| you should be doing or simply feel it | | | | - Carlos CastanedaThe deeper that sorrow |
| emotionally. But I'll continue to refer to | | | | carves into your being, the more joy you can |
| the voice for the sake of example.) This | | | | contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine |
| voice may tell you that your marriage has | | | | the very cup that was burned in the potter's |
| been dead for ten years, and you're refusing | | | | oven? And is not the lute that soothes your |
| to face it because you're afraid of divorce. | | | | spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with |
| It may tell you that you're afraid that if | | | | knives? |
| you start your own business, you'll probably | | | | |
| fail, and that's why you're staying at a job | | | | - Kahlil GibranInaction breeds doubt and |
| that doesn't challenge you to grow. It may | | | | fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. |
| tell you that you've given up trying to lose | | | | If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home |
| weight because you've failed at it so many | | | | and think about it. Go out and get busy. |
| times, and you're addicted to food. It may | | | | |
| tell you that the friends you're hanging out | | | | - Dale CarnegieAs you develop a sense of |
| with now are incongruent with the person you | | | | your true purpose in life, you may begin to |
| want to be, and that you need to leave that | | | | feel an uneasy disconnect between your |
| reference group behind and build a new one. | | | | current life situation and the one you |
| It may tell you that you always wanted to be | | | | envision moving towards. These two worlds may |
| an actor or writer, but you settled for a | | | | seem so different to you that you cannot |
| sales job because it seemed more safe and | | | | mentally conceive of how to build a bridge |
| secure. It may tell you that you always | | | | between them. How can you balance the |
| wanted to help people in need, but you aren't | | | | practical reality of taking care of your |
| doing so in the way you should. It may tell | | | | third-dimensional obligations like earning |
| you that you're wasting your talents.See if | | | | money to pay your bills and taxes, pleasing |
| you can reduce that voice to just a single | | | | your boss, raising your family, and |
| word or two. What is it telling you to do? | | | | maintaining social relationships with people |
| Leave. Quit. Speak. Write. Dance. Act. | | | | who can't even relate to what you're |
| Exercise. Sell. Switch. Move on. Let go. Ask. | | | | experiencing vs. the new vision of yourself |
| Learn. Forgive. Whatever you get from this, | | | | you desperately want to move towards. A whole |
| write it down. Perhaps you even have | | | | host of new fears may crop up related to this |
| different words for each area of your | | | | seemingly impossible shift. How will you |
| life.Now you have to take the difficult step | | | | support yourself? What will become of your |
| of consciously acknowledging that this is | | | | relationships? Are you just deluding |
| what you really want. It's OK if you don't | | | | yourself?The best advice I can give you here |
| think it's possible for you. It's OK if you | | | | is to forget about trying to build a bridge. |
| don't see how you could ever have it. But | | | | Focus instead on independently beginning the |
| don't deny that you want it. You lower your | | | | process of manifesting the new vision of |
| consciousness when you do that. When you look | | | | yourself from scratch, as if it were a |
| at your overweight body, admit that you | | | | totally separate thread in your life. If this |
| really want to be fit and healthy. When you | | | | creates a temporary incongruence in your |
| light up that next cigarette, don't deny that | | | | life, just do it anyway. For example, suppose |
| you want to be a nonsmoker. When you meet the | | | | you currently work as a divorce attorney, but |
| potential mate of your dreams, don't deny | | | | your courage tells you that you must |
| that you'd love to be in a relationship with | | | | eventually abandon such adversarial work. You |
| that person. When you meet a person who seems | | | | envision yourself passionately teaching |
| to be at total peace with herself, don't deny | | | | couples how to heal their broken |
| that you crave that level of inner peace too. | | | | relationships. But you can't even fathom |
| Get yourself out of denial. Move instead to a | | | | yourself as a trial lawyer trying to speak |
| place where you admit, "I really do want | | | | about healthy relationships, and on top of |
| this, but I just don't feel I currently have | | | | that problem, you can't see any way to make a |
| the ability to get it." It's perfectly OK to | | | | decent living in this new career, at least |
| want something that you don't think you can | | | | not quickly. There's just too big a |
| have. And you're almost certainly wrong in | | | | disconnect between this new vision and |
| concluding that you can't have it. But first, | | | | practical reality. So instead of trying to |
| stop lying to yourself and pretending you | | | | bridge this gap, just begin building your new |
| don't really want it.Move From Fear to | | | | vision completely from scratch in whatever |
| Action, Even if You Expect to FailWhen a | | | | time you have, even if it's only an hour or |
| resolute young fellow steps up to the great | | | | two each week. Keep doing your regular work |
| bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the | | | | as an attorney, but in your spare time, start |
| beard, he is often surprised to find it comes | | | | posting anonymously on relationship message |
| off in his hand, and that it was only tied on | | | | boards to give couples advice on how to heal |
| to scare away the timid adventurers. | | | | their relationships. Use the oratory skills |
| | | | you developed as an attorney to begin |
| - Ralph Waldo EmersonMost of our obstacles | | | | speaking to small groups about healing |
| would melt away if, instead of cowering | | | | relationships. Perhaps create a new web site, |
| before them, we should make up our minds to | | | | and start writing and posting articles about |
| walk boldly through them. | | | | your new passion. You don't have to hide the |
| | | | fact that you're an attorney, but don't worry |
| - Orison Swett MardenCourage and | | | | about bridging these two worlds. Live in |
| perseverance have a magical talisman, before | | | | paradox. Just start developing the new you, |
| which difficulties disappear and obstacles | | | | and allow the old one to continue in parallel |
| vanish into air. | | | | for a while.What will happen is that you'll |
| | | | develop skill in your new undertaking, and |
| - John Quincy AdamsNow that you've | | | | you'll eventually be able to support yourself |
| acknowledged some things you've been afraid | | | | from it, even if you can't see how to do so |
| to face, how do you feel? You probably still | | | | right away. You may not be able to see a way |
| feel paralyzed against taking action. That's | | | | to support yourself in your new vision right |
| OK. While diving right in and confronting a | | | | now, and that's fine. Just begin it anyway, |
| fear head-on can be very effective, that may | | | | doing it for free, without any concern of how |
| require more courage than you feel you can | | | | to turn it into a new full-time career. |
| summon right now.The most important point I | | | | Patiently wait for clarity; you will |
| want you to learn from this article is that | | | | eventually find a way to make it work. Then |
| real courage is a mental skill, not an | | | | when the time is right, you'll be able to |
| emotional one. Neurologically it means using | | | | peacefully let go of the old career and focus |
| the thinking neocortex part of your brain to | | | | all your energy on the new one. At some point |
| override the emotional limbic impulses. In | | | | you'll be able to commit fully to your new |
| other words, you use your human intelligence, | | | | self. Your passion for your new work will |
| logic, and independent will to overcome the | | | | eventually overwhelm your fear of letting go |
| limitations you've inherited as an emotional | | | | of your old source of stability. So instead |
| mammal.Now this may make logical sense, but | | | | of trying to transform your old career into |
| it's far easier said than done. You may | | | | your new one, just start the process of |
| logically know you're in no real danger if | | | | building your new one, and let your old one |
| you get up on a stage and speak in front of | | | | gradually fade. Even if you can only invest |
| 1000 people, but your fear kicks in anyway, | | | | an hour a week in your new undertaking, you |
| and the imaginary threat prevents you from | | | | will probably discover that this hour is more |
| volunteering for anything like this. Or you | | | | fulfilling to you than all the other hours |
| may know you're in a dead end job, but you | | | | put together, and that passion will drive you |
| can't seem to bring yourself to say the | | | | to find a way to gradually grow this presence |
| words, "I quit."Courage, however, doesn't | | | | until it fills up most of your days. The most |
| require that you take drastic action in these | | | | important thing is to begin now by |
| situations. Courage is a learned mental skill | | | | introducing your new vision of yourself to |
| that you must condition, just as weight | | | | your daily life, even if you can only |
| training strengthens your muscles. You | | | | initially do so in a small way.No matter how |
| wouldn't go into a gym for the first time and | | | | difficult it may seem, make the choice to |
| try to lift 300 pounds, so don't think that | | | | live consciously. Do not succumb to that |
| to be courageous you must tackle your most | | | | half-conscious realm of fear-based thinking, |
| paralyzing fear right away.There are two | | | | filling your life with distractions to avoid |
| methods I will suggest for building courage. | | | | facing what you feel in those silent spaces |
| The first approach is analogous to | | | | between your thoughts. Either exercise your |
| progressive weight training. Start with | | | | human endowment of courage and progressively |
| weights you can lift but which are | | | | build the strength to face your deepest, |
| challenging for you, and then progressively | | | | darkest fears to live as the powerful being |
| train up to heavier and heavier weights as | | | | you truly are, or admit that your fears are |
| you grow stronger. So tackle your smallest | | | | too much for you, and embrace life as a |
| fears first, and progressively train up to | | | | mouse. But make this choice consciously and |
| bigger and bigger fears. Training yourself to | | | | with full awareness of its consequences. If |
| lift 300 pounds isn't so hard if you've | | | | you are going to allow fear to win the battle |
| already lifted 290. Similarly, speaking in | | | | for your life, then proclaim it the victor |
| front of an audience of 1000 people isn't so | | | | and forfeit the match. If you simply avoid |
| tough once you've already spoken to 900.So | | | | living consciously and courageously, then |
| grab a piece of paper, and write down one of | | | | that is equivalent to giving up on life |
| your fears that you'd like to overcome. Then | | | | itself, where your continued existence |
| number from one to ten, and write out ten | | | | becomes little more than a waiting period |
| variations of this fear, with number one | | | | before physical death - the nothing as |
| being the least anxiety-producing and number | | | | opposed to the daring adventure.Don't die |
| ten being the most anxiety-producing. This is | | | | without embracing the daring adventure your |
| your fear hierarchy. For example, if you're | | | | life is meant to be. You may go broke. You |
| afraid of asking someone out on a date, then | | | | may experience failure and rejection |
| number one on your list might be going out to | | | | repeatedly. You may endure multiple |
| a public place and smiling at someone you | | | | dysfunctional relationships. But these are |
| find attractive (very mild fear). Number two | | | | all milestones along the path of a life lived |
| might be smiling at ten attractive strangers | | | | courageously. They are your private |
| in a single day. Number ten might be asking | | | | victories, carving a deeper space within you |
| out your ideal date in front of all your | | | | to be filled with an abundance of joy, |
| mutual friends, when you're almost certain | | | | happiness, and fulfillment. So go ahead and |
| you'll be turned down flat and everyone in | | | | feel the fear - then summon the courage to |
| the room will laugh (extreme fear). Now start | | | | follow your dreams anyway. That is strength |
| by setting a goal to complete number one on | | | | undefeatable. |
| your list. Once you've had that success (and | | | | |