| Security is mostly a superstition. It | | | | items on your list to make them |
| does not exist in nature, | | | | practical for you to actually |
| nor do the children of men as a whole | | | | experience. And if you ever feel the |
| experience it. | | | | next step is too big, then break it down |
| Avoiding danger is no safer in the long | | | | into additional gradients. If you can |
| run than outright exposure. | | | | lift 290 pounds but not 300, then try |
| Life is either a daring adventure, or | | | | 295 or even 291. Take this process as |
| nothing. | | | | gradually as you need to, such that the |
| To keep our faces toward change and | | | | next step is a mild challenge for you |
| behave like free spirits | | | | but one you feel fairly confident you |
| in the presence of fate is strength | | | | can complete. And feel free to repeat a |
| undefeatable. | | | | past step multiple times if you find it |
| - Helen KellerIn our day-to-day lives, | | | | helpful to prepare you for the next |
| the virtue of courage doesn't receive | | | | step. Pace yourself.By following this |
| much attention. Courage is a quality | | | | progressive training process, you'll |
| reserved for soldiers, firefighters, and | | | | accomplish two things. You'll cease |
| activists. Security is what matters most | | | | reinforcing the fear/avoidance response |
| today. Perhaps you were taught to avoid | | | | that you exhibited in the past. And |
| being too bold or too brave. It's too | | | | you'll condition yourself to act more |
| dangerous. Don't take unnecessary risks. | | | | courageously in future situations. So |
| Don't draw attention to yourself in | | | | your feelings of fear will diminish at |
| public. Follow family traditions. Don't | | | | the same time that your expression of |
| talk to strangers. Keep an eye out for | | | | courage grows. Neurologically you'll be |
| suspicious people. Stay safe.But a side | | | | weakening the limbic control over your |
| effect of overemphasizing the importance | | | | actions while strengthening the |
| of personal security in your life is | | | | neocortical control, gradually moving |
| that it can cause you to live | | | | from unconscious mouse-like to conscious |
| reactively. Instead of setting your own | | | | human-like behavior.The second approach |
| goals, making plans to achieve them, and | | | | to building courage is to acquire |
| going after them with gusto, you play it | | | | additional knowledge and skill within |
| safe. Keep working at the stable job, | | | | the domain of your fear. Confronting |
| even though it doesn't fulfill you. | | | | fears head-on can be helpful, but if |
| Remain in the unsatisfying relationship, | | | | your fear is largely due to ignorance |
| even though you feel dead inside | | | | and lack of skill, then you can usually |
| compared to the passion you once had. | | | | reduce or eliminate the fear with |
| Who are you to think that you can buck | | | | information and training. For example, |
| the system? Accept your lot in life, and | | | | if you're afraid to quit your job and |
| make the best of it. Go with the flow, | | | | start your own business, even though |
| and don't rock the boat. Your only hope | | | | you'd absolutely love to be in business |
| is that the currents of life will pull | | | | for yourself, then start reading books |
| you in a favorable direction.No doubt | | | | and taking classes on how to start your |
| there exist real dangers in life you | | | | own business. Spend an afternoon at your |
| must avoid. But there's a huge gulf | | | | local library researching the subject, |
| between recklessness and courage. I'm | | | | or do the research online. Join the |
| not referring to the heroic courage | | | | local Chamber of Commerce and any |
| required to risk your life to save | | | | relevant trade organizations in your |
| someone from a burning building. By | | | | field. Attend conferences. Build |
| courage I mean the ability to face down | | | | connections. Enlist the help of a |
| those imaginary fears and reclaim the | | | | mentor. Build your skill to the point |
| far more powerful life that you've | | | | where you start to feel confident that |
| denied yourself. Fear of failure. Fear | | | | you could actually succeed, and this |
| of rejection. Fear of going broke. Fear | | | | knowledge will help you act more boldly |
| of being alone. Fear of humiliation. | | | | and courageously when you're ready. This |
| Fear of public speaking. Fear of being | | | | method is especially effective when a |
| ostracized by family and friends. Fear | | | | large part of your fear is due to the |
| of physical discomfort. Fear of regret. | | | | unknown. Often just reading a book or |
| Fear of success.How many of these fears | | | | two on the subject will be enough to |
| are holding you back? How would you live | | | | dispel the fear where you're able to |
| if you had no fear at all? You'd still | | | | take action.These two methods are my |
| have your intelligence and common sense | | | | personal favorites, but there are many |
| to safely navigate around any real | | | | additional ways to condition yourself to |
| dangers, but without feeling the emotion | | | | overcome fear, including |
| of fear, would you be more willing to | | | | neuro-linguistic programming, implosion |
| take risks, especially when the worst | | | | therapy, systematic desensitization, and |
| case wouldn't actually hurt you at all? | | | | self-confrontation. You can research |
| Would you speak up more often, talk to | | | | them via an online search engine if you |
| more strangers, ask for more sales, dive | | | | wish to learn such methods and increase |
| headlong into those ambitious projects | | | | the number of fear-busting tools in your |
| you've been dreaming about? What if you | | | | arsenal. Most of these can be easily |
| even learned to enjoy the things you | | | | self-administered (implosion therapy is |
| currently fear? What kind of difference | | | | the notable exception).The exact process |
| would that make in your life?Have you | | | | you use to build courage isn't |
| previously convinced yourself that you | | | | important. What's important is that you |
| aren't really afraid of anything... that | | | | consciously do it. Just as your muscles |
| there are always good and logical | | | | will atrophy if you don't regularly |
| reasons why you don't do certain things? | | | | stress them, your courage will atrophy |
| It would be rude to introduce yourself | | | | if you don't consistently challenge |
| to a stranger. You shouldn't attempt | | | | yourself to face down your fears. In the |
| public speaking because you don't have | | | | absence of this kind of conscious |
| anything to say. Asking for a raise | | | | conditioning, you'll automatically |
| would be improper because you're | | | | become weak in both body and mind. If |
| supposed to wait until the next formal | | | | you aren't regularly exercising your |
| review. They're just rationalizations | | | | courage, then you are strengthening your |
| though - think about how your life would | | | | fear by default; there is no middle |
| change if you could confidently and | | | | ground. Just as your muscles |
| courageously do these things with no | | | | automatically atrophy from lack of use, |
| fear at all.What Is Courage?Courage is | | | | so your courage will automatically decay |
| not the absence of fear, but rather the | | | | in the absence of conscious |
| judgment that something else is more | | | | conditioning.Now this may sound overly |
| important than fear. | | | | gloomy, so here's a positive way to look |
| - Ambrose RedmoonCourage is resistance | | | | at it. Heavy weights can be a physical |
| to fear, mastery of fear - not absence | | | | burden, but they are helpful tools to |
| of fear. | | | | build strong muscles. You would not look |
| - Mark TwainCourage is being scared to | | | | at a 45-pound dumbbell and say, "Why |
| death, but saddling up anyway. | | | | must you be so heavy?" It is what it is. |
| - John WayneI like the definitions of | | | | Heaviness is your thought, not an |
| courage above, which all suggest that | | | | intrinsic property of the dumbbell |
| courage is the ability to get yourself | | | | itself. Similarly, do not look at the |
| to take action in spite of fear. The | | | | things you fear and say, "Why must you |
| word courage derives from the Latin cor, | | | | be so scary?" Fear is your reaction, not |
| which means "heart." But true courage is | | | | a property of the object of your |
| more a matter of intellect than of | | | | anxiety.Fear is not your enemy. It is a |
| feeling. It requires using the uniquely | | | | compass pointing you to the areas where |
| human part of your brain (the neocortex) | | | | you need to grow. So when you encounter |
| to wrest control away from the emotional | | | | a new fear within yourself, celebrate it |
| limbic brain you share in common with | | | | as an opportunity for growth, just as |
| other mammals. Your limbic brain signals | | | | you would celebrate reaching a new |
| danger, but your neocortex reasons that | | | | personal best with strength |
| the danger isn't real, so you simply | | | | training.Catch a Glimpse of Your Own |
| feel the fear and take action anyway. | | | | GreatnessEveryone has talent. What is |
| The more you learn to act in spite of | | | | rare is the courage to follow the talent |
| fear, the more human you become. The | | | | to the dark place where it leads. |
| more you follow the fear, the more you | | | | - Erica JongThe highest courage is to |
| live like a lower mammal. So the | | | | dare to appear to be what one is. |
| question, "Are you a man or a mouse?" is | | | | - John Lancaster SpaldingWhatever you |
| consistent with human | | | | do, you need courage. Whatever course |
| neurology.Courageous people are still | | | | you decide upon, there is always someone |
| afraid, but they don't let the fear | | | | to tell you that you are wrong. There |
| paralyze them. People who lack courage | | | | are always difficulties arising that |
| will give into fear more often than not, | | | | tempt you to believe your critics are |
| which actually has the long-term effect | | | | right. To map out a course of action and |
| of strengthening the fear. When you | | | | follow it to an end requires some of the |
| avoid facing a fear and then feel | | | | same courage that a soldier needs. Peace |
| relieved that you escaped it, this acts | | | | has its victories, but it takes brave |
| as a psychological reward that | | | | men and women to win them. |
| reinforces the mouse-like avoidance | | | | - Ralph Waldo EmersonSo what do you do |
| behavior, making you even more likely to | | | | with your newly developed courage? Where |
| avoid facing the fear in the future. So | | | | will it lead you? The answer is that it |
| the more you avoid asking someone out on | | | | will permit you to lead a far more |
| a date, the more paralyzed you'll feel | | | | fulfilling and meaningful life. You will |
| about taking such actions in the future. | | | | truly begin living as a daring human |
| You are literally conditioning yourself | | | | being instead of a timid mouse. You will |
| to become more timid and mouse-like.Such | | | | uncover and develop your greatest |
| avoidance behavior causes stagnation in | | | | talents. You will begin living far more |
| the long run. As you get older, you | | | | consciously and deliberately than you |
| reinforce your fear reactions to the | | | | ever have before. Instead of reacting to |
| point where it's hard to even imagine | | | | events, you will proactively manufacture |
| yourself standing up to your fears. You | | | | your own events.Courage is something you |
| begin taking your fears for granted; | | | | can only truly experience alone. It is a |
| they become real to you. You cocoon | | | | private victory, not a public one. |
| yourself into a life that insulates you | | | | Summoning the courage to listen to your |
| from all these fears: a stable but | | | | innermost desires is not a group |
| unhappy marriage, a job that doesn't | | | | activity and does not result from |
| require you to take risks, an income | | | | building a consensus with others. Kahlil |
| that keeps you comfortable. Then you | | | | Gibran writes in The Prophet, "The |
| rationalize your behavior: You have a | | | | vision of one man lends not its wings to |
| family to support and can't take risks, | | | | another man." The purpose of your |
| you're too old to shift careers, you | | | | existence is yours alone to discover. No |
| can't lose weight because you have "fat" | | | | one on earth has lived through the exact |
| genes. Five years... ten years... twenty | | | | same experiences you have, and no one |
| years pass, and you realize that your | | | | thinks the exact same thoughts you do.On |
| life hasn't changed all that much. | | | | the one hand, this is a lonely |
| You've settled down. All that's really | | | | realization. Whether you live alone or |
| left now is to live out the remainder of | | | | enjoy the deepest intimacy with a loving |
| your years as contently as possible and | | | | partner, deep down you must still face |
| then settle yourself into the ground, | | | | the reality that your life is yours |
| where you'll finally achieve total | | | | alone to live. You can choose to |
| safety and security.But there's | | | | temporarily yield control of your life |
| something else going on behind the | | | | to others, whether it be to a company, a |
| scenes, isn't there? That tiny voice in | | | | spouse, or simply to the pressures of |
| the back of your mind recalls that this | | | | daily living, but you can never give |
| isn't the kind of life you wanted to | | | | away your personal responsibility for |
| live. It wants more, much more. It wants | | | | the results. Whether you assume direct |
| you to become far wealthier, to have an | | | | and conscious control over your life or |
| outstanding relationship, to get your | | | | merely react to events as they happen to |
| body in peak physical condition, to | | | | you, you and you alone must bear the |
| learn new skills, to travel the world, | | | | consequences.If you commit to following |
| to have lots of wonderful friends, to | | | | the path of courage, you will ultimately |
| help people in need, to make a | | | | be forced to confront what is perhaps |
| meaningful difference. That voice tells | | | | the greatest fear of all - that you are |
| you that settling into a job where you | | | | far more powerful and capable than you |
| sell widgets the rest of your life just | | | | initially realized, that your ultimate |
| won't cut it. That voice frowns at you | | | | potential is far greater than anything |
| when you catch a glance of your | | | | you've experienced in your past, and |
| oversized belly in the mirror or get | | | | that with this power comes tremendous |
| winded going up a flight of stairs. It | | | | responsibility. You may not be able to |
| beams disappointment when it sees what's | | | | solve all the woes of this planet, but |
| become of your family. It tells you that | | | | if you ever do commit yourself 100% to |
| the reason you have trouble motivating | | | | the fulfillment of your true potential, |
| yourself is that you aren't doing what | | | | you can significantly impact the lives |
| you really ought to be doing with your | | | | of many people, and that impact will |
| life... because you're afraid. And if | | | | ripple through the future for |
| you refuse to listen, it will always be | | | | generations to come.What is the |
| there, nagging you about your mediocre | | | | difference between you and one of those |
| results until you die, full of regrets | | | | legendary historical figures who did |
| for what might have been.So how do you | | | | have such an impact? You both had many |
| respond to this ornery voice that won't | | | | of the same fears. You both were born |
| shut up? What do you do when confronted | | | | with talents in some areas and |
| by that gut feeling that something just | | | | weaknesses in others. The only thing |
| isn't right in your life? What's your | | | | stopping you is fear, and the only thing |
| favorite way to silence it? Maybe drown | | | | that will get you past it is courage. |
| it out by watching TV, listening to the | | | | What you do with your life isn't up to |
| radio, working long hours at an | | | | your parents, your boss, or your spouse. |
| unfulfilling job, or consuming alcohol | | | | It's up to you and you alone.Catching a |
| and caffeine and sugar.But whenever you | | | | glimpse of your own greatness can be one |
| do this, you lower your level of | | | | of the most unsettling experiences |
| consciousness. You sink closer towards | | | | imaginable. And even more disturbing is |
| an instinctive animal and move away from | | | | the awareness of the tremendous |
| becoming a fully conscious human being. | | | | challenges that await you if you accept |
| You react to life instead of proactively | | | | it. Living consciously is not an easy |
| going after your goals. You fall into a | | | | path, but it is a uniquely human |
| state of learned helplessness, where you | | | | experience, and it requires making the |
| begin to believe that your goals are no | | | | committed decision to permanently let go |
| longer possible or practical for you. | | | | of that mouse within you. Going after |
| You become more and more like a mouse, | | | | your greatest and most ambitious dreams |
| even trying to convince yourself that | | | | and experiencing failure and |
| life as a mouse might not be so bad | | | | disappointment, running butt up against |
| after all, since everyone around you | | | | your most humbling human limitations |
| seems to be OK with it. You surround | | | | instead of living with a comfortable |
| yourself with your fellow mice, and on | | | | padding of potential - these fears are |
| the rare occasions that you encounter a | | | | common to us all.The first few times you |
| fully conscious human being, it scares | | | | encounter such fears, you may quickly |
| the hell out of you to remember how much | | | | retreat back to the illusory security of |
| of your own courage has been lost.Raise | | | | life as a mouse. But if you keep |
| Your ConsciousnessLife shrinks or | | | | exercising your courage, you will |
| expands in proportion to one's courage. | | | | eventually mature to the point where you |
| - Anais NinCourage is the price that | | | | can openly accept the challenges and |
| Life exacts for granting peace. | | | | responsibilities of life as a fully |
| - Amelia EarhartYou gain strength, | | | | conscious human being. Continuing to |
| courage and confidence by every | | | | live as a mouse will simply hold no more |
| experience in which you really stop to | | | | interest for you. You will acknowledge |
| look fear in the face. You are able to | | | | within the deepest recesses of your |
| say to yourself, "I have lived through | | | | being, I have awakened to this |
| this horror. I can take the next thing | | | | incredible potential within me, and I |
| that comes along." You must do the thing | | | | accept what that will require of me. |
| you think you cannot do. | | | | Whatever it costs me, whatever I must |
| - Eleanor RooseveltThe way out of this | | | | sacrifice to follow this path, bring it |
| vicious cycle is to summon your courage | | | | on. I'm ready. Even though you will |
| and confront that inner voice. Find a | | | | still experience fear, you will |
| place where you can be alone with pen | | | | recognize it for the illusion it is, and |
| and paper (or computer and keyboard). | | | | you will know how to use your human |
| Listen to that voice, and face up to | | | | courage to face it down, such that fear |
| what it's telling you, no matter how | | | | will no longer have the power to stop |
| difficult it is to hear. (The voice is | | | | you.Embrace the Daring AdventureBefore |
| just an abstraction - you may not hear | | | | you embark on any path ask the question, |
| words at all; instead you may see what | | | | does this path have a heart? If the |
| you should be doing or simply feel it | | | | answer is no, you will know it and then |
| emotionally. But I'll continue to refer | | | | you must choose another path. The |
| to the voice for the sake of example.) | | | | trouble is that nobody asks the |
| This voice may tell you that your | | | | question. And when a man finally |
| marriage has been dead for ten years, | | | | realizes that he has taken a path |
| and you're refusing to face it because | | | | without a heart the path is ready to |
| you're afraid of divorce. It may tell | | | | kill him. |
| you that you're afraid that if you start | | | | - Carlos CastanedaThe deeper that |
| your own business, you'll probably fail, | | | | sorrow carves into your being, the more |
| and that's why you're staying at a job | | | | joy you can contain. Is not the cup that |
| that doesn't challenge you to grow. It | | | | holds your wine the very cup that was |
| may tell you that you've given up trying | | | | burned in the potter's oven? And is not |
| to lose weight because you've failed at | | | | the lute that soothes your spirit, the |
| it so many times, and you're addicted to | | | | very wood that was hollowed with knives? |
| food. It may tell you that the friends | | | | - Kahlil GibranInaction breeds doubt |
| you're hanging out with now are | | | | and fear. Action breeds confidence and |
| incongruent with the person you want to | | | | courage. If you want to conquer fear, do |
| be, and that you need to leave that | | | | not sit home and think about it. Go out |
| reference group behind and build a new | | | | and get busy. |
| one. It may tell you that you always | | | | - Dale CarnegieAs you develop a sense |
| wanted to be an actor or writer, but you | | | | of your true purpose in life, you may |
| settled for a sales job because it | | | | begin to feel an uneasy disconnect |
| seemed more safe and secure. It may tell | | | | between your current life situation and |
| you that you always wanted to help | | | | the one you envision moving towards. |
| people in need, but you aren't doing so | | | | These two worlds may seem so different |
| in the way you should. It may tell you | | | | to you that you cannot mentally conceive |
| that you're wasting your talents.See if | | | | of how to build a bridge between them. |
| you can reduce that voice to just a | | | | How can you balance the practical |
| single word or two. What is it telling | | | | reality of taking care of your |
| you to do? Leave. Quit. Speak. Write. | | | | third-dimensional obligations like |
| Dance. Act. Exercise. Sell. Switch. Move | | | | earning money to pay your bills and |
| on. Let go. Ask. Learn. Forgive. | | | | taxes, pleasing your boss, raising your |
| Whatever you get from this, write it | | | | family, and maintaining social |
| down. Perhaps you even have different | | | | relationships with people who can't even |
| words for each area of your life.Now you | | | | relate to what you're experiencing vs. |
| have to take the difficult step of | | | | the new vision of yourself you |
| consciously acknowledging that this is | | | | desperately want to move towards. A |
| what you really want. It's OK if you | | | | whole host of new fears may crop up |
| don't think it's possible for you. It's | | | | related to this seemingly impossible |
| OK if you don't see how you could ever | | | | shift. How will you support yourself? |
| have it. But don't deny that you want | | | | What will become of your relationships? |
| it. You lower your consciousness when | | | | Are you just deluding yourself?The best |
| you do that. When you look at your | | | | advice I can give you here is to forget |
| overweight body, admit that you really | | | | about trying to build a bridge. Focus |
| want to be fit and healthy. When you | | | | instead on independently beginning the |
| light up that next cigarette, don't deny | | | | process of manifesting the new vision of |
| that you want to be a nonsmoker. When | | | | yourself from scratch, as if it were a |
| you meet the potential mate of your | | | | totally separate thread in your life. If |
| dreams, don't deny that you'd love to be | | | | this creates a temporary incongruence in |
| in a relationship with that person. When | | | | your life, just do it anyway. For |
| you meet a person who seems to be at | | | | example, suppose you currently work as a |
| total peace with herself, don't deny | | | | divorce attorney, but your courage tells |
| that you crave that level of inner peace | | | | you that you must eventually abandon |
| too. Get yourself out of denial. Move | | | | such adversarial work. You envision |
| instead to a place where you admit, "I | | | | yourself passionately teaching couples |
| really do want this, but I just don't | | | | how to heal their broken relationships. |
| feel I currently have the ability to get | | | | But you can't even fathom yourself as a |
| it." It's perfectly OK to want something | | | | trial lawyer trying to speak about |
| that you don't think you can have. And | | | | healthy relationships, and on top of |
| you're almost certainly wrong in | | | | that problem, you can't see any way to |
| concluding that you can't have it. But | | | | make a decent living in this new career, |
| first, stop lying to yourself and | | | | at least not quickly. There's just too |
| pretending you don't really want it.Move | | | | big a disconnect between this new vision |
| From Fear to Action, Even if You Expect | | | | and practical reality. So instead of |
| to FailWhen a resolute young fellow | | | | trying to bridge this gap, just begin |
| steps up to the great bully, the world, | | | | building your new vision completely from |
| and takes him boldly by the beard, he is | | | | scratch in whatever time you have, even |
| often surprised to find it comes off in | | | | if it's only an hour or two each week. |
| his hand, and that it was only tied on | | | | Keep doing your regular work as an |
| to scare away the timid adventurers. | | | | attorney, but in your spare time, start |
| - Ralph Waldo EmersonMost of our | | | | posting anonymously on relationship |
| obstacles would melt away if, instead of | | | | message boards to give couples advice on |
| cowering before them, we should make up | | | | how to heal their relationships. Use the |
| our minds to walk boldly through them. | | | | oratory skills you developed as an |
| - Orison Swett MardenCourage and | | | | attorney to begin speaking to small |
| perseverance have a magical talisman, | | | | groups about healing relationships. |
| before which difficulties disappear and | | | | Perhaps create a new web site, and start |
| obstacles vanish into air. | | | | writing and posting articles about your |
| - John Quincy AdamsNow that you've | | | | new passion. You don't have to hide the |
| acknowledged some things you've been | | | | fact that you're an attorney, but don't |
| afraid to face, how do you feel? You | | | | worry about bridging these two worlds. |
| probably still feel paralyzed against | | | | Live in paradox. Just start developing |
| taking action. That's OK. While diving | | | | the new you, and allow the old one to |
| right in and confronting a fear head-on | | | | continue in parallel for a while.What |
| can be very effective, that may require | | | | will happen is that you'll develop skill |
| more courage than you feel you can | | | | in your new undertaking, and you'll |
| summon right now.The most important | | | | eventually be able to support yourself |
| point I want you to learn from this | | | | from it, even if you can't see how to do |
| article is that real courage is a mental | | | | so right away. You may not be able to |
| skill, not an emotional one. | | | | see a way to support yourself in your |
| Neurologically it means using the | | | | new vision right now, and that's fine. |
| thinking neocortex part of your brain to | | | | Just begin it anyway, doing it for free, |
| override the emotional limbic impulses. | | | | without any concern of how to turn it |
| In other words, you use your human | | | | into a new full-time career. Patiently |
| intelligence, logic, and independent | | | | wait for clarity; you will eventually |
| will to overcome the limitations you've | | | | find a way to make it work. Then when |
| inherited as an emotional mammal.Now | | | | the time is right, you'll be able to |
| this may make logical sense, but it's | | | | peacefully let go of the old career and |
| far easier said than done. You may | | | | focus all your energy on the new one. At |
| logically know you're in no real danger | | | | some point you'll be able to commit |
| if you get up on a stage and speak in | | | | fully to your new self. Your passion for |
| front of 1000 people, but your fear | | | | your new work will eventually overwhelm |
| kicks in anyway, and the imaginary | | | | your fear of letting go of your old |
| threat prevents you from volunteering | | | | source of stability. So instead of |
| for anything like this. Or you may know | | | | trying to transform your old career into |
| you're in a dead end job, but you can't | | | | your new one, just start the process of |
| seem to bring yourself to say the words, | | | | building your new one, and let your old |
| "I quit."Courage, however, doesn't | | | | one gradually fade. Even if you can only |
| require that you take drastic action in | | | | invest an hour a week in your new |
| these situations. Courage is a learned | | | | undertaking, you will probably discover |
| mental skill that you must condition, | | | | that this hour is more fulfilling to you |
| just as weight training strengthens your | | | | than all the other hours put together, |
| muscles. You wouldn't go into a gym for | | | | and that passion will drive you to find |
| the first time and try to lift 300 | | | | a way to gradually grow this presence |
| pounds, so don't think that to be | | | | until it fills up most of your days. The |
| courageous you must tackle your most | | | | most important thing is to begin now by |
| paralyzing fear right away.There are two | | | | introducing your new vision of yourself |
| methods I will suggest for building | | | | to your daily life, even if you can only |
| courage. The first approach is analogous | | | | initially do so in a small way.No matter |
| to progressive weight training. Start | | | | how difficult it may seem, make the |
| with weights you can lift but which are | | | | choice to live consciously. Do not |
| challenging for you, and then | | | | succumb to that half-conscious realm of |
| progressively train up to heavier and | | | | fear-based thinking, filling your life |
| heavier weights as you grow stronger. So | | | | with distractions to avoid facing what |
| tackle your smallest fears first, and | | | | you feel in those silent spaces between |
| progressively train up to bigger and | | | | your thoughts. Either exercise your |
| bigger fears. Training yourself to lift | | | | human endowment of courage and |
| 300 pounds isn't so hard if you've | | | | progressively build the strength to face |
| already lifted 290. Similarly, speaking | | | | your deepest, darkest fears to live as |
| in front of an audience of 1000 people | | | | the powerful being you truly are, or |
| isn't so tough once you've already | | | | admit that your fears are too much for |
| spoken to 900.So grab a piece of paper, | | | | you, and embrace life as a mouse. But |
| and write down one of your fears that | | | | make this choice consciously and with |
| you'd like to overcome. Then number from | | | | full awareness of its consequences. If |
| one to ten, and write out ten variations | | | | you are going to allow fear to win the |
| of this fear, with number one being the | | | | battle for your life, then proclaim it |
| least anxiety-producing and number ten | | | | the victor and forfeit the match. If you |
| being the most anxiety-producing. This | | | | simply avoid living consciously and |
| is your fear hierarchy. For example, if | | | | courageously, then that is equivalent to |
| you're afraid of asking someone out on a | | | | giving up on life itself, where your |
| date, then number one on your list might | | | | continued existence becomes little more |
| be going out to a public place and | | | | than a waiting period before physical |
| smiling at someone you find attractive | | | | death - the nothing as opposed to the |
| (very mild fear). Number two might be | | | | daring adventure.Don't die without |
| smiling at ten attractive strangers in a | | | | embracing the daring adventure your life |
| single day. Number ten might be asking | | | | is meant to be. You may go broke. You |
| out your ideal date in front of all your | | | | may experience failure and rejection |
| mutual friends, when you're almost | | | | repeatedly. You may endure multiple |
| certain you'll be turned down flat and | | | | dysfunctional relationships. But these |
| everyone in the room will laugh (extreme | | | | are all milestones along the path of a |
| fear). Now start by setting a goal to | | | | life lived courageously. They are your |
| complete number one on your list. Once | | | | private victories, carving a deeper |
| you've had that success (and success in | | | | space within you to be filled with an |
| this case simply means taking action, | | | | abundance of joy, happiness, and |
| regardless of the outcome), then move on | | | | fulfillment. So go ahead and feel the |
| to number two, and so on, until you're | | | | fear - then summon the courage to follow |
| ready to tackle number ten or you just | | | | your dreams anyway. That is strength |
| don't feel the fear is limiting you | | | | undefeatable. |
| anymore. You may need to adjust the | | | | |