Discover the Power of Intelligent Giving

When many people think of giving, they think ofeffect intended. The receiver, instead of feeling
gifts and a commercialized Christmas season. Yetgratitude, will feel resentment. Some gifts are
giving happens in every aspect of life and itactually 'white elephants'. These rare creatures are
includes intangible things such as time andhugely expensive to take care of, yet because of
attention. Many people over-give to the point oftheir rarity and spiritual significance, are not
hurting themselves. People also often give theallowed to be put to work. This is a gift that hurts
wrong thing. This happens very often inthe receiver.
relationships where one person gives someoneHow to Make Intelligent Giving Decisions:
something that isn't wanted.- The first step to give intelligently, correctly,
Bruce Painter, author and consultant says, "If youjoyfully and truthfully is to communicate.
can give effectively and intelligently, it is theCommunicate openly at work and at home. This
secret to getting what you want; moremeans talking and listening.
importantly, it's the secret to giving others what- Be willing to ask people what they want and be
they want. If you can give others what theywilling to tell others what you want. Very few
want, you're going to get what you want."people are willing to do that.
Bruce found himself in a situation where he gave- When you give to people, check with them and
everything he had away, and had nothing left. Hesee if it is really what they want. Their situation
was exhausted, in pain, and overspent. He hadmight change and you don't want to force it.
nothing left and became selfish in response.The Character of a Good Giver:
Through his painful experiences, he developed a- Be accountable rather than blaming. The most
plan to help others learn the basics of givingsuccessful people are accountable. They take
intelligently.responsibility for what they are doing. Leaders will
The first key is to understand when you arenot point fingers at someone else, but look at
giving and who you should be giving to. Givingthemselves when things are not going well and
happens in relationships because giving, even to atry to see how they contributed to the problem.
random beggar, creates a relationship. While youLikewise, they look for how they can contribute
can give to anyone, the one person you can'tto a solution.
afford not to give to, is yourself. Most peopleTypes of Giving:
know about sacrificial giving - usually time or- Insincere or selfish giving. This is giving because
money. Intelligent giving is also listening and loving.you want to get something back.
The second key of giving is to recognize the signs- Giving out of obligation is the type of giving that
of unintelligent giving. Every parent knows thatis not done from the heart. Known as the 'guilt
their kids will ask for things that aren't good fortrip.' There is no pleasure in it, and the giver feels
them and they aren't the only ones. Beyondcoerced into it.
immediate harm, there is longer-term harm to- Mechanical giving has no real life or spirit in it.
watch out for. Such as the creation ofRitual tithing often turns into this.
dependency that constant giving creates or- The ultimate type of giving is given freely. It is a
inappropriate gifts that kill, rather than strengthenjoy and a pleasure. It is the type of giving when
relationships.you hit the giving zone. It is giving intelligently,
Here are some examples:giving to people what they want and allowing
- Giving too much to children can actually causethem to give back.
them to be unprepared for life. If a motherEmpowering others is a very important part of
always cooks every meal for her children, even ingiving. Teach others to give. This type of giving
a spirit of generous giving, they will never learnfeeds the community. It can make a difference in
the basics of choosing and preparing their ownthe lives of everyone a person touches. Teaching
food. You might not think this is not so serious ifothers to give will have a huge impact and change
an adult has to live off restaurants andthe world. Teaching children to be givers feeds
microwave dinners but think if this same thing isthe future.
done with money. Giving money, without a needChildren need to learn the joy of giving from a
to earn, creates disastrous irresponsibility. Thevery young age. Give them the opportunity to
child, now a young adult, probably won't evengive to others and they will feel proud about
understand why it is so hard for them to gethaving the ability to give. Giving also teaches
respect.children responsibility.
- Giving the wrong thing in a relationship due toBe a proactive, intelligent giver, developing your
lack of communication often has the oppositevalues and principles to reach your full potential.