Hilarious Help Wanted Ads

In this piece, News Target satires newreluctantly contribute to approval of dubious
employment postings at the Food and Drugdrugs, or, in some cases, drugs are approved
Administration (FDA). Some highlights:Propagandaagainst the investigators' recommendations.Part of
Officer: Help the FDA create and spreadthe problem is that these professionals are so
information that discredits products, companiesdisheartened when they realize that more than 50
and ideas that threaten FDA control. No scientificpercentof the money the FDA spends reviewing
background necessary.Science Censor: Burydrugs comes from the pharmaceutical industry. A
scientific findings that harm the prestige andfull 80 percentof the FDA's resources are geared
credibility of the FDA.Chief Oppression Officer:toward the approval of new drugs, and only 20
Conduct armed raids on places where dangerouspercentfor all the rest. Only 5 percent goes to
criminals are teaching patients aboutdrug safety.Then their hands are tied as they
nutrition.Kickback Coordinator: Keep tabs on FDAwatch these same drugs harm thousands of
managers' investments in pharmaceuticalpeople. It is not uncommon for respected FDA
companies. Criminal background preferred, mobveterans to leave the FDA having lost confidence
ties are a plus.Morale Officer: Keep FDAin the safety or effectiveness of prescription
employees in line to boost morale and workdrugs. Morale at the FDA is at an all-time
efficiency.Public Safety Program Director: Notlow.Already, the FDA has become little more than
really a full-time job. In fact, you don't even needa rubber-stamp approval process for Big Pharma.
to show up.News Target August 13, 2005Dr.While current "industry-friendly" policy stands,
Mercola's Comment:These humorous ads carrythings will only get worse as more and more
the distinct bite of truth. Slowly but surely,honest employees are driven out.Dr. Mercola is
pressure from management and frustrationthe founder of Mercola.com, one of the world's
among working scientists is driving out themost visited and trusted health websites, and
employees at the FDA who really care aboutpublisher of the free e-newsletter -- the #1
drug safety, and replacing them with tools of thedietary health and wellness newsletter on the
pharmaceutical industry.The current climate at theWeb with over 500,000 subscribers. Dr. Mercola, a
FDA is causing an unprecedented amount ofphysician for over two decades, is also a New
employee turnover. In 2002, the Wall StreetYork Times bestselling author whose latest book,
Journal reported that 15 percent of FDA medical"Dr. Mercola's Total Health Program," presents his
officer jobs were vacant. This is much higher thanentire renowned dietary health program and has
at other similar government agencies, such as thesold over 150,000 copies. He is routinely
National Institute of Health (NIH)or the Centersinterviewed by the media for his expert insights,
for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).Topincluding CNN and ABC World News Tonight. His
scientists who have committed their lives to publicpassion is to change the fatally flawed
safety are being prevented from doing their jobs,conventional medical system to one focused on
and are either giving up and quitting or beingreal prevention and cure.
forced out. Honest scientists are forced to